Hi! I am 41 years old and have had a complex because of my webbed toes most of my life. I have hidden them and missed out on many swimming activities and sleepovers because of them. I did not start hiding my toes until I moved to another city in the 5th grade but before I moved my “best friend†got mad at me and called me “glued together toesâ€. My estranged dad has webbed toes also. On my right foot the 2nd & 3rd are webbed up to the bottom of my toe nail and on my left foot the 2nd & 3rd are webbed to the first knuckle (not quite half way). When I moved, since I did not grow up with these kids, I was too embarrassed for them to see my feet and it got worse from there. When bell bottom jeans were in style, I could hide them pretty good if I went barefooted or wore flip flops. In general, I never wore sandals or flip flops. When I was a teenager, I tried drawing the black line but it did not help much. At one point, I even took a razor blade and softly tried to cut them apart to see if it would hurt. I was never too happy with my parents for not having them separated when I was born. I was told that they did not notice until they got home (not sure I believe that) and then my dad did not want to separate them because they were like his (except both feet 2nd & 3rd are up to bottom of toe nail). I got married when I was 17 and had dated about a year and my husband never saw my toes. So before we got married, I had to tell him about them. It was a huge deal for me to do this. He did not think they were a big deal and still loved me anyway (haha). Nine years later we had our first child, and all I wanted to know (besides if she was okay) was if her toes were webbed. I was going to get them separated. Supposedly, it’s not a big deal when they are first born. They weren’t webbed and I did the same thing with my next two children (boys). Neither was webbed. Ironically, all three of my children had to have some type of foot surgery later in life. My boys had flat feet and my daughter had hammer toes. They all had surgery. My daughter has a connective tissue disorder and hammer toes are a symptom. I always tried to teach my children to be proud of who they are and how they are made because God made them that way and my daughter did not have a problem with her hammer toes. She has been on swim team since she was seven and she is 15 now. She did have surgery because they caused her pain in her shoes eventually. She wears flip flops more than any other shoes and her toes are a bit unusual looking. For the last two summers I have been slowly wearing flip flops and I am really working on getting over my complex. If my daughter can do this, it’s the least I can do. My family insists that my toes are not very noticeable and they are very supportive in my endeavor of getting over my complex. I truly do not want to be embarrassed anymore but I have been hiding them for so long it is hard to overcome. But I am proud to say, I have made some progress. I found this website because I was looking for something to help me with this process and I am so glad I did. I have never seen toes like mine and believe me I look for them. Now I see there are many out there, all with different feelings about their toes. I have considered surgery in the past but not since my daughter developed hammer toes. She has taught me a valuable lesson. Another thing is that there are so many people out there that have deformities that are far worse and actually hinder their abilities. I thank you all for listening to this long post. I guess it is a kind of therapy to help me to get over my complex also. I actually found this site at the beginning of the summer but I am just now posting. So glad to find it.
getting over complex--slowly
(2 posts) (2 voices)-
moondog
MemberMichelle,
Glad to hear you are getting over your complex even though it is slowly. Sometimes it takes time to realize your webbed toes are no real big thing. Just some skin between your toes. I know its hard but just put on a pair of sandals that show a little toe and start out wearing those. Once you're comfortable with that get a little more daring and wear some slides. That way when you're are sitting or standing and you start to feel uncomortable you can pull your foot back and cover your toes. After awhile you will be able to start wearing flip flops and not really care what anyone else thinks.
Here's a quote from Ethel Barrett..."We would worry less about what others think of us if we realized how seldom the do."
I hope you come to terms with having webbed toes so you can do things in sandals or go barefoot. I did and luv it. I still look at others peoples toes hoping to find someone with toes like mine but I really don't care if someone else is looking at mine. Good luck to you.Posted 1 year ago #
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