return(true);


function do_stuff() {
  if (in_array($date, $holidays) && $vacation == true) {
    travel('away');
    visit_family();
    $gifts->exchange();
    eat();
    travel('home');
  }

  if ($new_year == true) {
    eat() && drink();
    $weight++;
    $sleep = false;
  }

  $slack = false;
  $resolve++;

  $work->resume();

  return(true);
}

Other Posts of Interest

This entry was written by Dougal, posted on 1/10/2006 at 11:32 am, filed under Family, Fun, Holidays, Personal, Work and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post. Post a comment or leave a trackback: Trackback URL.

12 Comments

  1. logtar
    Posted 1/10/2006 at 12:00 pm | Permalink

    Yes, Ladies and Gentleman he is one of us. Welcome to our GeekDom.

  2. Kafkaesquí
    Posted 1/10/2006 at 12:06 pm | Permalink

    For eat() you forgot to set the $diet argument to 0.

  3. Dougal
    Posted 1/10/2006 at 12:16 pm | Permalink

    Kafkaesquí: the $diet flag was definitely set to false. Trust me. :)

    However, we’ve finally done some garbage collection on the $leftovers array, and reset the $diet flag to true.

  4. Jay Reding
    Posted 1/10/2006 at 1:01 pm | Permalink

    I also found a bug - when calling the drink() method too many times with the $drink_type flag set to “alcoholic” you generate some interesting memory leaks… :)

  5. jim
    Posted 1/10/2006 at 2:07 pm | Permalink

    this.chuckle();

  6. Teli
    Posted 1/10/2006 at 2:25 pm | Permalink

    Hmmm…seems like a dream I had last year.

    Thankfully I’ve ceased dreaming in PHP/CSS coding (at least for now, and I think in part due to reading ‘normal’ books).

  7. CountZero
    Posted 1/10/2006 at 5:35 pm | Permalink

    never forget do set some do_nothing()-loops from time to time, otherwise your CPU will overheat mandatorily! :D

  8. Ross Easton
    Posted 1/10/2006 at 5:35 pm | Permalink

    LOL.

  9. Raybdbomb
    Posted 1/10/2006 at 6:55 pm | Permalink

    lol @ the gay comment.

  10. Oskar Syahbana
    Posted 1/10/2006 at 7:52 pm | Permalink

    Thank god my geekdom is not THAT geek-y :P

  11. aJ
    Posted 1/11/2006 at 5:43 am | Permalink

    Lmao@ Jay Reding

    I’m a geek.. I actually enjoyed the joke :-D

  12. Rob Cottingham
    Posted 1/11/2006 at 9:41 am | Permalink

    I enjoyed this, but couldn’t possibly have written it. Does that make me more of a wannageek?

7 Trackbacks

  1. By FUN » Blog Archive » are you a geek too? on 1/10/2006 at 1:16 pm

    [...] i’m not a computer geek, and even though i quit college cuz i didn’t wanna be a gay software engineer who told jokes like this i can still appreciate them and sometimes i can laugh at the humor. [...]

  2. By More geek humour : Losing it[1] on 1/10/2006 at 2:39 pm

    [...] As fine an example of geek humour as I’ve ever seen. From Dougal Campbell’s Geek Ramblings: return(true);. [...]

  3. By Online » Humor Geek on 1/11/2006 at 11:47 am

    [...] Vía | Dougal Campbell [...]

  4. By return(true); at Some Fool on 1/11/2006 at 6:03 pm

    [...] Now, that is what you call coding. [...]

  5. By Chistes Informaticos » Blog Archive » ¿Qué vas a hacer hoy? on 1/28/2006 at 7:07 am

    [...] return(true); } Vía | Dougal Campbell [...]

  6. By Jay’s Blogs » Blog Archive » Geek Humor on 9/17/2006 at 11:52 pm

    [...] Now and then, though, you get time to do some aimless wandering on the web, and I ran across this geeky holiday humor piece that computer programmers will enjoy. [...]

  7. By Geek-Humor at Anarchieblog on 7/11/2008 at 6:07 am

    [...] lachen (aber ich lachen ja auch über jeden scheiß…). Beim Blogs surfen bin ich auf das hier gestossen. Ich glaube, man muss ein bisschen PHP oder so was kenne, um es wirklich witzig zu finden (kann [...]

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