Dougal Campbell's geek ramblings

WordPress, web development, and world domination.

Dear Facebook Friends

Dear Facebook Friends,

I want to hear about your latest joys and sorrows. I want to be jealous that you got the cool new phone, sports car, or big screen TV. I want to see your vacation pictures. I want to know when you reconnect with that old friend, who happens to also be an old friend of mine, so that I can reconnect with them, too. I just want to know what you ate for breakfast, what you think of the movie you just saw, what cute thing your kid did recently, and how disgusted you are with the latest political, economic, ecological, or social screwup.

I do not want to be your neighbor at the farm. I do not want to explore the frontier with you. I do not want to play poker, checkers, chess, or Bejeweled. I do not want a fish, unicorn, kitten, heart, or rainbow. I don’t want to help your mafia gang pull off a job, and I don’t want to become a vampire, werewolf, zombie, or other mythical creature.

Please don’t take this the wrong way. Just know that for 99% of the invitations you send, I will block the application, and never see it again.

This has been a Public Service Announcement from the I Wish We Could Have Facebook Without All The Annoying Add-ons Coalition. Pass it on.

About Dougal Campbell

Dougal is a web developer, and a "Developer Emeritus" for the WordPress platform. When he's not coding PHP, Perl, CSS, JavaScript, or whatnot, he spends time with his wife, three children, a dog, and a cat in their Atlanta area home.
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8 Responses to Dear Facebook Friends

  1. Pingback: Tweets that mention Dear Facebook Friends --

  2. Pingback: Daily Digest for June 26thEvan Mullins = Circlecube | Evan Mullins = Circlecube

  3. they’re not that bad.  it’s marketeers that drive me nuts!!!

  4. ooum says:

    “I’ve been following your blog for 3 days now and i should say i am starting to like your post. and now how do i subscribe to your blog?”

  5. Carrie Lewis says:

    I love the block button myself. lol ;-P Best thing on Face”Space”errBook. 

  6. paul friar says:

    Finally I found someone that seems to agree with the way I feel!I do like being able to catch up with old friends I havent seen for years (I recently got in contact with a girl I lost contact with 10 years ago) but I do hate all the “stupid stuff” that goes with facebook.All that farming, and other weird “games” on there that I just dont understand.It would be so good to have a Facebook mark 2 without all that stuff.I feel at peace again now.

  7. Clare says:

    I’d click the “like” button but I don’t see one here.

  8. Rakeb Ack says:

    Facebook is simply a giant information gathering device for the US government with corporate monetization and public distraction as it’s secondary goals. One can only guess at how many human hours are wasted with those silly free facebook poker games that people “train” their games with.

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